I’m a simple guy. I love hockey and I love food. It’s not often when I get to combine my two main loves in life together but here we are, and I’ve got to admit that I’m pretty excited to write this piece.
Look, there are some foods and hockey players that I really don’t like. But then there are some that just make me so happy, to both watch and eat. So, considering the only thing I’ve been doing over the last 14 months has been watching hockey and eating, I figured it’s time for me to combine my two loves in life together.
Let’s give this a go. Oh- and before we get started, I’m not a vegetarian (just a heads up!).
STEAK – CONNOR MCDAVID
Not Just any steak. A beautiful Wagyu. McJesus is the finest cut the NHL has to offer and there’s no way around it. Chef’s kiss for this one.
BURGER – PATRIK LAINE
This is an interesting one for me. I love both of these with all my heart, but you know what the main similarity is? Inconsistency. Sometimes a good burger could be the best thing in the world. Sometimes Patrik Laine looks like the best hockey player in the world. But both can also be pretty lackluster depending on the night, and restaurant you choose to order from. I dunno these ones just remind be of each other.
CHICKEN BREAST – SIDNEY CROSBY
Definitely some similarities here. When you think of health in the NHL Sid is probably the first player who comes to mind, no? Well, chicken is pretty healthy too so this one works out pretty nicely. Chicken is still elite but not quite in the best of the best when it comes to munching… similar to Crosby in his age 33 season.
BURRITO – NATHAN MACKINNON
Like a nice, juicy burrito after your night out with your buddies… MacKinnon too has a ton of different qualities that makes him one of the best players in the game. Think about it… guac, beans, salsa, meat, they all come together to form a perfect food. Speed, hands, ridiculous shot, vision, they all come together to form the elite player that is Nathan MacKinnon. Plus, they’re both relatively stocky but also kind of huge (MacKinnon is 6’0, 200).
SHRIMP – PATRIK KANE
Calling someone a shrimp can definitely be taken out of context but if you’re reading this Kaner (which we know you obviously are), then please take this the right way. Kane isn’t the biggest of the bunch but he might just be the most skilled. Shrimp are typically the smallest food on the plate but damn are they tasty. It won’t make you full like a steak but when shrimp is done right it’s some of the best food in the world. Also… it doesn’t get the respect it deserves, a bit like Patty (at least this season).
LOBSTER – LEON DRAISAITL
The surf to the oiler’s turf, Leon is in fact like a nice piece of buttery lobster. Absolutely delicious but… not quite the most delicious piece of protein on the plate. Buttery hands though. The only flaw in this one is that Lobster is typically very expensive, while Leon comes at a reasonable cap hot of just $8.5 million.
APPLE PIE- MITCH MARNER
Everyone loves apple pie. Even people who don’t actually like apple pie still like the idea of apple pie. Mitch Marner is arguably the NHL’s most likeable player and his game is pretty sweet, too.
KALE – AUSTON MATTHEWS
Kale doesn’t quite punch like some of the other foods on the list but when it comes to greens it’s the elite leaf (get it?) and more importantly… it’s trendy. Auston Matthew might just be the trendiest player in the league both on and off the ice.
No?
SPAM – CONNOR HELLEBUYCK
Needed a Jet on the list. Spam has always been weird to me. Connor Hellebuyck has always been weird to me. But apparently Spam is actually kind of nice?
BEEF JERKY – MILAN LUCIC
Beef jerky is by no means one of my very favourites but it definitely hits the spot, especially when I’m really hungry. Luc is by no means one of the NHL’s best players, but his game is resembles the same texture as jerky; TOUGH. And he’ll score the occasional clutch goal, kind of like how Jerky will occasionally fill my hunger void when I’m in need of a boost. Say what you want but I definitely see this one.
So… thoughts?!
